TOW TOO Many Bings
by Talon3
Summary: When are there TOO many Bings? You be the judge.
1. Default Chapter

Alright, I have what is called a huge case of writer's block! So I am going to write a fic to help ease my mind, so that I can get my creative juices flowing again.  
  
I have not given up on my other fics. Just put them on hold for a bit. By the way, Vicki, if ya want to finish Alternate people, have at it…..  
  
So just hold on.…will get to the others when I feel like it. By the way, was it just me, or did the ending of Friends seem a bit rushed. It was good, but rushed. I thought better than the other shows endings.  
  
Just leave a review….Saying if ya want me to continue. If I get five at least I will continue. Hey I will be happy getting just one. Thanks, a million.  
  
Everything belongs to the creators of this show. I Own NOTHING!!!!!   
  
Hey, I still have college loans I am trying to pay off. Warning, the fic starts off a little slow, but hopefully it picks up speed. Just don't bail on me after the first page, ok? By the way am a bit rusty.  
  
Ross and Rachel are together but having a lot of problems. As every couple does. Phoebe and Mike are together and happy. Joey's stint in LA did not work out like he planned so he is back. And since the apartment is gone, living with Monica and Chandler. Just like Chandler predicted so far.  
  
And there are going to be some major surprises. Hope you like.  
  
TOO MANY BINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Let me start off by telling you about my family. Well, I include friends as part of my family. I actually spend more time around than my own flesh and blood. Up until ten years ago. But THAT is the story!  
  
Confused? Well, give me a moment, you won't be.  
  
The start of it all. My dad and mom told me they were getting a divorce over Thanksgiving of all things! If that were not bad enough, dear ole dad's gay lover made a pass at me! I still get a chill thinking about those words: More turkey, Mr. Chandler.   
  
Soon after my dad moved to Las Vegas and ran an all male burlesque show, Viva Las Geygus. And mom became an erotic romance novelist. I mean books like 'Love Slave, Chained Mistress" and so forth can really scar a guy. Especially later on in life when she writes about you and your wife.  
  
After lifting a girl's skirt at school, mom decided that she really did not want to deal with me. So she put me in an all boys school. Got through that, went to NYU, met my future brother-in-law. He became my roommate.   
  
I met his sister, my future wife during Thanksgiving. She was an awkward teenager and had a weight problem. But was very nice. When she heard that I would not eat Thanksgiving food, she made me Mac and cheese. But I was too shallow to see past her weight. And not knowing that she heard me I hurt her feelings. The next year she was thin, and boy she got me back good. She was trying to seduce me and ended up instead of cutting off my toe.   
  
But somehow we got past that. After college for me and culinary school for her, we ended up living across the hall from each other. We both had bad luck in dating and so forth and yet so did her brother who went through marriage after another. So we finally found each other after five years. But we lasted because we are such good friends. Oh we have had our differences, but we have stuck it out.  
  
A year after getting married, we started trying for a baby. But after a year of that, we had fertility tests run. And we discovered that my guys were slow, but her uteri us was inhospitable. So we decided to adopt. We finally ended up with two babies, a boy and a girl. Which was a surprise, we were only expecting one. But got two.  
  
Now this is where the story really take off at. We got a house out in Westchester. The house is a nice two story, three bedroom, two and a half bath Colonial. As soon as we saw it, we loved it. So we got it. None of our friends were too happy. But they soon came around. Even Joey. As soon as we gave Joey a room of his own.   
  
It was just two months after we got Jack and Erica home that Monica found out she was pregnant. WE BEAT THE ODDS!!!!!!!!! And eight and a half months later Daniel was born. Now our little family was complete. Three kids. I mean two boys and one girl were plenty. Monica would be happy with that, I mean she has three little babies to dress up and later on in life to bond with our daughter.  
  
And this was where it all started.  
  
I came home from work, Monica met me at the door.  
  
"Chandler, honey, I have a surprise for you."  
  
Seeing that she had a robe on. "Really, and what would that be, I wonder?"  
  
"Later for that. I have made your favorite dinner, Mac and cheese. Now go and sit down at the table and I will be right in there."   
  
After sitting down at a candle lit table, I started to get leery. What does Monica want? I kept asking myself that same question. And where were the babies? No crying or sounds. Erica and Jack were three and Daniel was ten months younger. In short they were no longer babies. They were growing up.   
  
Wait a moment! She is not? Is she? Just because she made me my favorite dinner. Means one of two things. She either has some big news or is buttering me up for something. Personally I am scared to think which one it is. Or worse, it could be both of them together.  
  
The dining room door opened and she enters carrying our dinners and is wearing a tight red dress with high heels. She is gorgeous. No matter how horrible of a day we both have. I could pass a blond bombshell high fashion model and would never look twice. Oh I admit I would look once. But that would be to compare her with my Monica.   
  
"Enjoy, sweetie." Monica put my plate in front of me and then went and sat down. Mac and Cheese with cut up little hot dogs and a huge steak on the side and red wine. Just how I liked everything.   
  
"Thanks Monica. Now why don't you tell me what is going on?"   
  
"You know me that well, huh?"  
  
"Mon, we have been best friends for over ten years now. I think that I know you better than anyone."   
  
"You are right about that." She then took a deep breath. "Do you promise that you will think it over a bit for a while before giving me an answer?"  
  
"Ok. Hey forgot to ask, where are our little ankle bitters at?"  
  
"At mom and dad's." She then took another deep breath. "Chandler I want one more child. Please!"  
  
"Monica as far as I am concerned, I would not mind, but it was miraculous that we had Daniel and I really do not want you upset."  
  
"Fertility drugs." Monica came back with. "We could try the drugs for six months and if I don't get pregnant, then so be it. We still have three wonderful children. Well?"  
  
I smiled, hoping that all will turn out alright. "OK." Before I could say anything else, Monica was in my lap and had me in a hot lip lock. Suffice to say we forgot about dinner that night.   
  
But I thought that she meant that I could go in for fertility drugs. But she meant herself. And so without knowing we both took drugs and well, six weeks later we found out that she was expecting. At the doctor's office, we both discovered that we both took the drugs.  
  
"So this child will be here because of fertility drugs?"  
  
"Yes. The people at the clinic were very helpful to me."  
  
"UH, Mon. You took fertility drugs?"  
  
"I told you I was going to."  
  
"No you asked me if I would be willing to take them, so I did."  
  
"I did not! I said I would take them!" The doctor was sitting back chuckling at what was going on.  
  
"No you asked me too. Remember? We were at the table and you told me that you wanted another baby." The doctor started laughing as soon as I said that. "And you said that the best thing for us to do is to have me go to a fertility clinic."  
  
"I did NOT say you. I said I would go!"  
  
"You did not!"  
  
"I said I would after I told you I wanted a baby!" After that the doctor laughed louder.  
  
"What are you laughing at, anyway?" I asked the doctor who could not stop laughing. He almost had tears in his eyes.  
  
"Y-you s-said b-baby!" He then almost hit the floor.  
  
"I think you ought to go back to medical school. Why else would we even be here?"  
  
What he said made my blood freeze. "Taking fertility drugs increases the chance of there being more than one baby. Even if it is just one taking the drugs. But add both of you to the mix. I can almost assure you that you WILL have more than one."  
  
"Twins?" I asked.   
  
"Probably. But to make sure nothing is wrong because of the medicines you both took, I will need to know what they both were." We told him. "Nope, nothing will be wrong with the babies because of those drugs. Now lets see what's on the ultra sound, shall we?"  
  
After Monica laying back and raising her shirt a bit. The doctor put on the gel. And started up the machine and soon we saw on the monitor three small like peanuts. "If I am not mistaken. You are having three babies."  
  
"T-three?" I stuttered. "But I thought you said twins. We already have three toddlers at home. N-now we are going to have three more? I mean I agreed on ONE baby, but twins I could live with, but triplets? I thought you said no more than two!"  
  
"I said more than one is very likely. I just did not say how many."  
  
"Oh gee thanks for informing us. You have been a glowing sense of information today."  
  
"I am now above Phoebe's record!" I had a feeling that my wife was overjoyed. "When can you tell us sex?"  
  
"Not for another six weeks."  
  
"Triplet's." Monica was crying had her hands on her stomach. "I can't wait to tell everyone, particularly Phoebe." She had that look in her eyes of winning intense competition. I should know, I have witnessed that look many times before. This was going to be some pregnancy.  
  
Two hours later we were driving home. "I sure hope they are all girls." Monica sighed yet again and had her hands on her stomach. "Think of all the dresses, the tap lessons, the ballet lessons, the music lessons, the make-up, the hair dos, I can fix their hair in so many ways. Their very first crushes and dates."  
  
At that I swerved into a parking lot and parked the car. "No-NO DATES!"   
  
"AWWWW Chandler. Remember your first date?"  
  
"OH, I remember what it was like to date. I KNOW what those horny little Bastards arte thinking of!"  
  
"CHANDLER!"  
  
"MONICA I USED to be one! So all I can say is NO girls only boys." I bent my head down to her stomach. "You hear me in there? NO girls. All of you are to be boys!"  
  
Just then there was a rap on the window. I straightened up in time to see a police officer. I rolled down the window. "Yes, Mr. Police Officer?"  
  
"You are parked in a no parking zone."  
  
"Sorry about that, my husband here was just freaking out. My doctor told me we are expecting triplets and I told him I hope they all are girls!"  
  
"NO GIRLS, NO GIRLS! I WILL NOT ALLOW MY DAUGHTERS to date one of those filthy, shallow jerks. Uh uh. NO WAY!"  
  
The police officer just chuckled. "You see officer he was ok with the idea until I told him that they will have crushes and start dating."  
  
"Over my dead body, they will."  
  
"I think you should both settle this at home, don't you?"  
  
"Maybe so officer, do you have any girls?"  
  
"Stephanie and Teresa."  
  
"Don't you see? As soon as they hit eleven, they will have crushes on boys! I mean you and I will both know where that will lead to, right. I mean we were both boys once. So we both know what is going through those little deviants' minds."  
  
"Uh…you both go on home and talk this over. I have to go and make a phone call." He turned and fled.  
  
Monica was just shaking her head. "Some piece of work you are. Scaring a man like that about his daughters."  
  
"Well it was the truth." I muttered as I turned the car back on.  
  
That night, we called all of our friends and family over and told them the good news.  
  
"We are having another baby." I stated weakly.  
  
"Not just one, It is THREE!" Monica sang out. "And I beat you, Phoebe. I now have six!" She was enjoying this way too much! I was starting to feel lightheaded.  
  
Of course prompting Phoebe to turn to poor Mike, "Let's go and get those fertility drugs. Only I want four!"  
  
"Uh, Phoebe you do know that those drugs are for women who have trouble conceiving. Right?"  
  
"Alright fine! But I still want a baby!" She then hauled poor Mike out the door.  
  
"Dude, I KNEW that you had it in you!" That was Joey. Lovable Joey, who after it didn't work out in LA, moved back. But since the apartment was no longer his, was staying with us.  
  
Rachel hugged Monica as did Ross, who went and shook my hand. Rachel gave me a huge hug.  
  
Mom gave me a huge hug and kiss on the check. "Way to go slugger!"  
  
Jack was thrilled to death. Judy also was, well she was Judy.  
  
Jack hugged Monica tight. "I am so proud of you."  
  
"Well, I am glad you can finally have kids of your own."  
  
"Mrs. Geller, Erica and Jack are every inch our kids."  
  
"I am not saying that. I am just trying to say that I am happy for you. I mean I know that Monica gave birth herself to Daniel and you both did an admirable thing in adopting Erica and Jack. But I am trying to say is that I am proud of you sweetie." Judy then hugged Monica.  
  
"Alright. Who are you and what have you done with my mother?"  
  
"Monica, I mean it, no mother could be happier for her daughter nor prouder of her than I am of you at this moment!"   
  
Monica ran and hugged her mom, crying. "Oh mom, I have been waiting to hear those words all of my life. I love you mom!"  
  
"I love you too, sweetie." Judy and Monica then hugged each other. Which was everything that Monica had hoped to hear from her mother. Love, understanding and happiness. Which was very good. I am just glad that that happened that night, considering what was about to happen after the wedding of Ross and Rachel. Which was to take place in three days.  
  
Soon after, the group started to break up. Ross and Rachel went home, they both had a big day the next day with the wedding planner. Judy and Jack left to go home because they were both tired. Joey, Monica and me all three went to the next room to talk. We all sat down in front of the TV.  
  
"So I guess I should move out, huh?"  
  
"What?" I asked.  
  
"There is going to be no room for me and three more babies. It already is crowded enough here as it is."  
  
"Well, Monica and I had already talked about that. Not enough room anyway. Even if you were to move out Joey. So we are going house hunting tomorrow."  
  
"What? But I thought that you guys liked it here."  
  
"Joey we do, It is just that there is no room. We need two more bedrooms." Monica explained.  
  
"So we want you to stay."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Of course, Joey. You are like a brother to us."  
  
"Awww, thanks guys." He thought for a moment, then asked, "Can I go with you?"  
  
"Yes. But once me and Chandler decide something the answer is a flat no! Besides Joey, Chandler and I really will need help with the babies. I mean both you and Chandler are worth one of me."  
  
I turned to Joey. "You know, I really don't know whether to be thrilled or insulted."  
  
Joey and I looked at each other for a bit. "Insulted." We both said at once. Monica just laughed.  
  
The next day, I took off time from work as did Monica. Joey did not go to any auditions. So there we were all three walking into a realtor's office each holding a baby. It looked weird all of us holding three toddlers and carrying diaper bags, crammed full of food, snacks, a change of clothes and diapers or pull ups. We were now trying our best to potty train them.   
  
Jack seemed to be the one catching on easier than the others. Erica was also catching on. But5 Daniel had Monica's stubbornness and it was harder teaching him. Although Monica swears up and down that he had my stubbornness. I even think he waited to go when we changed him or put new training pants on him, showing Monica and I who actually wore the 'pants' are here.  
  
I held Daniel, Joey held Jack and Monica held Erica. Suffice to say, Daniel was harder to hold. Above any of them, he was the one who tried to get away the most. And our star adventurer.   
  
Mom said that he took after me in that department.. And acted like I acted when I was his age. She also said that despite the hair he looked just like me. Eye color and skin color. Even facial contour. And mom said he had the same size of feet as I did when I was a baby. Monica heard that and said that he was probably going to turn out to be hung just like me.   
  
Anyway, the realtor quickly took us to some houses when we told her how many babies the doctor said we were going to have. All of them WAY TOO expensive.   
  
"Uh, Ms Williams…" I started.  
  
"Tricia."  
  
"Tricia, we can not afford these." I then wrote a number on a piece of paper what we could afford.   
  
She was downhearted when she saw it, then she perked up. "I know one house that has been on the market for a while now and best of all is in your price range and is big enough for you. It needs a lot of work done on it. But it is in a very good neighborhood. The school district was voted one of the best in the state, even for a public school. There are plenty of parks, playgrounds and sporting teams. From little league, soccer and even art classes and good libraries."  
  
"That sounds great." Monica started.  
  
"And plenty of good restaurants."  
  
"Food! What kind?"  
  
"Name your pick!"  
  
"hey, If it all SOOOO good, why has it not been sold.?"  
  
"As I said it is a handyman's delight. A real work in progress. It is a three story Victorian."  
  
"Run down." I added.  
  
"I am not going to lie to you. It needs a lot of work. Although it has potential." She then continued. It has three floors. A two car garage with an attic over it. A huge basement that can be converted into a den or family game room. A study with a library connected to it a huge kitchen, which has great possibilities. And a huge dining room. The good news about the house is that it has a new roof and the wring has just been redone. And it was recently painted. What do you think?" She then handed us a picture of the house and the plans.  
  
"What choice do we have?" I asked.  
  
"When do you want to see it?"  
  
"Now is good." Monica committed. Erica was asleep in her baby pack on her back.  
  
"Uh, ok." She said looking at her watch. For a moment there I thought that she looked worried.  
  
Twenty minutes later, we were all standing outside this huge old home. It's front yard happened to be a nice 1600 yards from house to front sidewalk. The outside yard was in fairly nice shape. I noticed on the left side, that there was a huge privacy fence with a gate.  
  
"How far around the house does the fence go?" I turned and asked Tricia.  
  
"All the way around. From the left side of the house to the garage in the back." She then continued. "It has a huge Oak tree right behind the house in the back where there is a tire swing and an old tree house. And a huge shed. Then further on more trees. The yard is almost 5000 square yards. Do you want to see the inside first and then see the yard?"  
  
"That sounds good."   
  
The tour was interesting. A huge hall greeted us as we opened the front door. The stairs wound around our heads to the upstairs. Their was a door under the stairs which led to the basement. That really needed a lot of work done to it. Which was going to be used as a den/game room.  
  
The first floor had a bath and a half. The people who built this really knew about what was required for a huge family. A bedroom that was probably for a servant or cook, since it was near a kitchen. And it was so huge. Huge by way of Monica standard. She was even amazed at it. I know that she already was making plans for it. The pantry was as big as the one at her former job. And a cellar that opened on the floor of the pantry.  
  
A breakfast room attached to the kitchen. A huge dining room with plenty of space for a table like royalty. And other furniture and a hutch and even a China cabinet. A set of shelves were built into the wall.   
  
To the right of the stairs, it had a library that had roll away doors that opened into a study. To the left, a huge living room and a huge conservatory to the left of that went all the way alongside of the house to the kitchen.   
  
Right behind the living room was the family room. Then the kitchen was right toward the middle of that and was one of the three doors that went in the great hall. The kitchen was toward the left and met the garage. The breakfast room had French doors that swung opened upon the deck.  
  
It had five bedrooms on the second floor three and a half baths as well on the second floor. The third floor was an attic. Or it could be made into a huge bedroom. Joey's room perhaps. With plenty of sitting room. And a bathroom could be made there as well.   
  
The back yard was terrific . And the good news was that it had a privacy fence that went all around it. And plenty of trees. But also plenty of opened space. Monica could even plant a garden and block that off and there would still be plenty of space left over. Even for a pool, if we wanted one.  
  
I called Monica and Joey over to me under the huge tree. "Alright so what do you two think?"  
  
"I say we get it." Joey yelled out loud enough for the realtor to hear us. Well that was Joey, as subtle as always.  
  
"Not until we know the price first." Monica stated.  
  
"And we may have to haggle."  
  
"OH, oh, let me!" Joey was getting excited.  
  
"Uh, I think we ought to leave it up to Chandler. Since he has a business degree."  
  
"Oh, okay." Joey seemed down heartened.  
  
"Hey why don't you go with Monica to give her some helpful advice about what she be done with the rooms."  
  
Monica gritted her teeth. "Chandler!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Mon listen I love Joey like a brother, but I can not have him around when I make them an offer." I hoped she would understand. "Just keep him occupied." I whispered to her.  
  
"Fine, but you are not going to get off that easily. Come on Joey." They both walked toward the kitchen.  
  
Soon after we sat down, finally after thirty minutes we came on a figure that we agreed on. Shook hands and then that was it.   
  
She then looked down at her watch. "Mr. Bing, I hate to do this. But, I have to show another clients a house in twenty minutes."  
  
"Say no more." I then called Joey and Monica over and told them we got the house and we all left.  
  
After leaving I turned toward Monica. "Call me crazy, but why do I get the feeling that she does not want us there because of something?"  
  
"What?" Monica asked.  
  
"She kept looking at her watch."  
  
"Chandler, hon, you ARE crazy. And she probably had another house to show."  
  
"I guess so. I just can not shake this feeling."  
  
"Is your daddy nuts? Huh? Is your daddy nuts?" Joey was playing with the kids in the back. Or with Daniel who was the only one that was awake.  
  
"Thanks, Joe."  
  
"Welcome, dude." I shook my h=ead and sighed. Vintage Joe, alright.  
  
Two days later Rachel and Ross got married. Of course Rachel stopped the ceremony and made the rabbi redo the words and have him omit obey from the vows. Ross was not too pleased. And neither was the rabbi. But Ross was worse.  
  
"Come on Rachel honey, It is tradition."  
  
"Traditions are made to be broken! Either you omit it or I am walking. I will not obey any man or submit! Got it!" That was not in the form of a question.  
  
"It is just a part that needs to be read. That way."  
  
"I can omit it." the rabbi offered.  
  
"See." Rachel triumphal smiled at Ross.  
  
"Fine, do as she says." Ross frowned and sighed heavily.  
  
The wedding went off with out a hitch. They went off to Paris together. Of course their honeymoon had to be cut short when Ross lost his temper and got thrown in jail. Rachel had to bail him out. And they had to come back home after being there for a record breaking three hours.  
  
It happened in the customs line at Charles De Gaul airport.  
  
Let me just say that Rachel was furious, when they arrived back. She went to stay with Phoebe and Mike and brought Emma with her. By that time, Phoebe was six weeks pregnant. And had morning sickness like nothing . She was even placed on bed rest until the doctor cleared her from that. Rachel volunteered to sit with her and to help her. So she and Emma stayed with her.  
  
As I said it was a good thing that Monica and Judy made up. Because a week after Ross arrived back, him and Judy were in a terrible car crash. Judy died on impact, Ross who was driving did not. But it tore up his scrotum. And he had to have an operation and have it removed.   
  
So no more kids for Ross and Rachel. They would just have Emma, and that was just fine for Rachel. Who after a bit wanted to return to work. Ross was far from pleased. But what could he do? There was no repairing his scrotum. At all.   
  
So soon after she was called into the hospital, Rachel signed the order to have it removed, since she was his wife and he was unconscious at the moment. Ross was far from pleased, and had a feeling that as soon as Rachel saw her chance to keep from having kids, she took it.  
  
Monica was broken up inside about Judy, but glad that they cleared the air between them, so she had no regrets about her and her mom.  
  
Jack asked if he could stay on the sofa at our house for a bit. He did not want to stay in a lonely house with the memories of Judy. Of course we said yes. And since we were moving into a new huge home, we asked if he wanted to move in with us.   
  
He asked us if we were sure about it. And we told him more than so. He ended up moving to the first floor bedroom with the bathroom that was attached to it. Joey lived in the spare room over the garage.  
  
Oh yeah I forgot to tell you about that one. There were some stairs that went from the kitchen to the top of the garage. That was where the chaffer used to live and it was big enough to do so. But it had been such a long time since anyone had stayed there. The people ahead of us used it for storage. We had to reconvert it into a bedroom.  
  
Joey liked it, because, it was a bit separate from the house and yet still apart of the house. Separate meant more privacy, yet apart of the house that he could jog down the stairs to the kitchen to rummage through the refrigerator.  
  
Of course him and Jack became good friends. They would meet each other for midnight snacks. And Joey introduced Jack to 'Baywatch'.   
  
If you think that was all that came to stay with us, you are sadly mistaken. I will explain later.  
  
Anyway, we found out why the realtor kept looking at her watch. She wanted to get us out of there to close this deal. Why? Only that the neighbor next door to us, well they were certifiable! They were at the doctors' offices for the afternoon. She had it all arranged with the woman next door. Who actually looked after those oddballs.  
  
Which one to begin at?   
  
The grandfather he thought that he was President Theodore Roosevelt. And kept playing a bugle and yelling at the top of his lungs…"CHARGE!!!!!!!" Thinking he was leading the charge up San Juan Hill during the Spanish/American war. And always conferring on everybody he met honors as a president. Joey even fell down and sprained his ankle and 'Teddy' as everyone called him, came and made a speech and gave him a purple heart and Jack the Congressional Medal of Honor for helping him. He was harmless really. We just did not like that horn going off and upsetting the babies.  
  
Another one, who happened to be the grandfather's sister, was a ninety-five year old lady who was half blind and had to have the car keys hidden from her. So she sat out in a stationary car that had no wheels on it, 'driving' down the road. Blowing the horn. That was her first car. It was a Model T Ford. And when she blew the horn it had a certain way of blowing. It was one of those horns you find on bikes. She was also harmless.  
  
Another lady that lived there was always working in the backyard. On her beloved flowers and bushes. Come to find out that she called each one of them after her dead husbands. All three of them or the bushes. The flowers she claimed were one of those days going to bloom and give her money. Anyway, she kept talking to them and to some of the flowers as well. Also harmless. She was the daughter of 'Teddy'.  
  
Of course all the other people who lived around us were used to the weird behavior. Just everyone. And for some reason we got used to it as well. We just asked the woman who lived with them to hide the bugle and the horn. Otherwise they would keep waking the kids. She did at night, but they were found once again during the day. We made that concession, for now. But we told her that they had to get rid of them once the babies came. She agreed.  
  
Finally we were all moved in and had most of the house done. We had yet to fix the basement up[. But we decided to take our time with that room. Everything was going well. Then I received some bad news, my third cousin on my father's side had passed way. I got a letter from her attorney, which stated that I was in her will and I was to go to a reading of it. It was on video. And what I found out both shocked and surprised me.   
  
Not only did I get some money. But I also got…………  
  
Now the question is do you want me to continue. I have a few more twists and turns to take this fic. Let me know. Okay? 


	2. Everything At Once

This is left over from the last fic…..I hope you will enjoy it. It is a bit AU. But not by much, I hope. Thanks for the reviews. I can NOT thank you guys enough. Please review,  
  
Still don't own anything.  
  
I got……well, I will inform ya of what else I got later. Or in a minute. I think I had better start from the beginning.  
  
As I said we had bought a new house. Or were deeply in debt for the new house. But the inheritance was adequate enough to actually payoff the house. It happened while Monica was six and a half months pregnant.  
  
Even with three paychecks. Mine, Joey's and mine. The first was from an advertising agency. Joey's when he did get jobs. He went back to the soaps and did a few commercials. He finally got cast playing Crispy Chicken on a commercial for Crispy Fingers, a fast food restaurant. A benefit that Joey loves is that he gets a bucket of chicken free each day. The other one for me is that I am now writing freelance for a newspaper.   
  
Monica no longer works outside the home. She says that she has too much to do during the day. Trying to keep the house clean, laundry, and taking care of the babies. The care of the babies is six bottles a day at the least for each. Ten and sometimes more diaper changing a day. Baths, and even has to find time to play with them.   
  
But now they are being toilet trained. And are showing improvement. But it is frustrating and hard work. We are glad that we are not using cloth diapers. And there is such a thing as Pull Ups. Helps out a lot more.  
  
As I said before, I think that Daniel has a sadistic sense of humor to try and be as contrary as he can. I mean he is smart enough to now use the little potty, but I think loves to give us a hard time for fun. I say he is going through his terrible twos. Monica says it is because he has my genes. Without Monica knowing, 'that's my boy'!  
  
Of course I have my part as well. Well, sometimes Phoebe and Rachel comes over to help, as well as Ross and Mike. Although they make every excuse they can to avoid us. But that is during the day. At night, it is me, Monica and Joey, when we can catch him around.   
  
When Jack moved in, everything seemed to get easier for Monica. After Judy died, he felt that he needed to be around the kids a lot more. To try and help him out emotionally. And I believe that it did work. He felt that he was needed and even though he grieved, he took solace in his grandchildren and spent a lot of time with them and bonded with Monica as well.   
  
He also insisted on paying a few bills like electric and such and buying diapers and some groceries. Joey paid the water bills as well as helped out with the groceries as well, and purchased some toys.   
  
Interestingly, it seemed that he liked playing with them as well. And more times than naught, they were well too advanced for the babies to play with, like play station games. He just said that they were for them when they got older. But he had to make sure they worked right. Then again, maybe it would have been interesting if he didn't.  
  
Monica was not as tired anymore and the house was kept up better. With both the pregnancy now. She was no longer sick, but was eating everything in sight. And well, between her and the babies, I never really got a good nights sleep for a while.  
  
Speaking of the pregnancy. The second ultrasound when Monica was three months along was chocked full of information. One, unfortunately, Monica was right and the other, well this is what happened.  
  
Monica was laying down on the table in the doctor's office again. With the gel on her stomach and what the doctor said, scared me to death.  
  
"Well, everything looks okay. Want to know the sex?"  
  
"Yes. It would help out with choosing the colors for the baby's room." Monica stated.  
  
"Sure, why not." I added naively. What could it hurt. I soon found out.  
  
"Well, let me see. One, two, and it looks like three girls."  
  
"Girls, three little girls!" Monica had tears repelling down her checks. She then looked at me and smugly stated. "Told ya."  
  
"Girls? ALL?" I was remembering what she said that day. 'Crushes and boyfriends, crushes and boyfriends, crushes and boyfriends.' The words were replaying in my head and I was feeling nauseous, getting a migraine and lightheaded all at once. "NOOOOOOO Not all girls! Were not you guys listening? I said Boys, NO girls!" I spoke to her stomach again. The doctor was now laughing out loud.  
  
Monica laughed, "They ALL take after me!" After she said that I had a bad forbearance of what was coming my way. They would not listen to me one bit.  
  
But I got some even more worse news from the doctor. "Don't worry, Mr. Bing, the fourth one is a son."  
  
"Four? FOUR? FOUR!" I stood up fast, TOO FAST and I started to get dizzy and lightheaded, but not all from how quickly I stood up. "What do YOU mean four? Last time we were here you said THREE! NOT FOUR!"  
  
"Chandler, please sit down and calm yourself!" Monica had grabbed hold of my arm and trying to get me to sit back down.  
  
"But, but, but….we have NO room for four!" I was starting to feel even more scared than I used to hearing the C word. "We already have 3 Highchairs and three car seats and anything else three from the first three!"  
  
"You mean to tell me that you have had three already and you wanted more?" The doctor trying to come to grips with this new bit of info. "And you took fertility drugs? The BOTH of you? Now I need to sit down."  
  
"No, it was not like this at all." Monica started to explain trying to get me to sit down all the while. It was not working I was pacing so hard and fast that and grumbling, that she had given up. "We only wanted one more. And the first two were adopted, the fertility clinic told us that we could not have kids on our own. SO we adopted one or it was suppose to be one, but it turned out twins. And then I got pregnant with Daniel two months after they were born. And we decided on one more. So you know about the mix up involving the fertility drugs. And that is that. So you see, we really did not plan this."  
  
"Oh, I see." The doctor shook his head for a minute, then smiled. "Would you mind if I wrote an article to the Journal of the American Medical Association about your case."  
  
"OH NO you DON'T!" I turned toward him slowly. "We will not be a freak show for anything!"  
  
"Anything more than you already are, huh?" I could not hold back my emotions anymore, so I ducked him. No ONE! And I mean NO ONE calls MY family that!!! "Uhbbb, wight maybee eww hd betr stawt gawn at awnutr dawctr." He quickly wrote a name and number down on a slip of paper and left the room.   
  
Monica was almost in shock at what I did, but she soon got out of it. Took the keys from me and led me out. On the way home, I was just sitting there like nothing had happened. Just passively sitting there not worrying about babies. I believed that Monica was not pregnant and this was all a dream. Or just some slip of my sadistic imagination. In short I was in denial.  
  
After we arrived home I walked around. I mean I was there, but not really. This was a dream. Nothing more nothing less. We already had three kids. There was no way there was going to be four more!  
  
Of course Monica had called everybody over. They all sat around the huge front room and I stood to the side by the fireplace. Ignoring everything. This was just a dream nothing more. Just a dream. All present were Jack, Ross, Rachel, Emma, Joey, Phoebe, Mike, Little Jack, Erica and Daniel. The babies were on the floor playing with different toys. While the grownups sat on the sofas or chairs.  
  
"New announcement everyone!" Monica was really excited. I was trying to cut myself off. "Phoebe, remember how I told you that we are tied for having three babies all at once?" 'no don't say it!, ignorance is bliss, ignorance is bliss.' "Well I am not!" Good, I KNEW that I misheard! "I BEAT YOU! I AM NOW HAVING FOUR!!!!!!!!!!!" It was right then and there I started grumbling.   
  
"I KNEW that WE should have gone to a fertility clinic!!!!!!!!!" Phoebe glared at Mike.  
  
"Four?" Mike backed away from a very angry wife.  
  
"Unbelievable!" Ross could only spat out.  
  
"NOT FAIR!" Phoebe kept wailing.  
  
"I guess there will not be anymore." Jack stated.  
  
"Over my dead body." I grumbled.   
  
"WHOA, FOUR?" Joey stuttered out. "Hey, you still owe me. I want one of those babies named after me!"  
  
"Fine. At least it goes with Bing."  
  
"And I want to be the Godfather."  
  
"Alright and before anyone says anything, you all will be Godparents. Ok?"  
  
"YES!!!!!!!!" Joey had won a huge victory.  
  
"Monica I love you. I mean hey you are my sister and best friend. But boy am I glad it is you and not me." Rachel then grinned. "Hey, it will never be me again!" She then grinned at the thought of no more babies.   
  
"But, I want another!" Ross wailed.  
  
"Well, you are NOT getting one. I am not going to go through the back pain, nor the sickness nor messing up my career. I mean I would be the one to carry the child not you. And I changed more diapers than you. And sat up more times than you. Put my career on hold and everything. So I get the last word."  
  
Ross looked like he was going to cry. "But Rachel….." The look he received from her told it all. He gave into her. "Alright, fine Rachel." But I knew it would not be the last time he would try to get Rachel to agree to have another.  
  
"Well, I bet you both are thankful that you both have a bigger house. At least it is big enough for that big of a family." Dad who was there for a visit stated wisely.   
  
"Chandler, I will admit this only once, your father is right. At least you have enough room to look after the babies." Just then a toy cannon went off next door. 'Teddy' was giving a twenty one gun salute. For his fallen comrades in the war.  
  
"What on earth was that?" Dad asked.  
  
"Just a neighbor."  
  
"Is he always like that?" Mom asked.  
  
"Yeah, but he is harmless."  
  
"But that was a cannon!"  
  
"A toy cannon with nothing in it. Just enough powder for a blast. He points it toward trees on his property."  
  
"Chandler, our neighbor's brother has just moved in."  
  
"So he can not be as crazy as the others that are living there."  
  
"He is a scientist that works at the chemical plant during the day, but at night, he is trying to change grass and rocks into gold and aluminum and glass into diamonds."  
  
"But that can not be done! Just can not be done. Logically…."  
  
"OK, so he is apart of that family. Mentally anyway."   
  
"Well at least Lisa is somewhat normal." Mike started.  
  
"Mike, she talks to her car and THINKS that it talks back to her!"  
  
"But I thought that was the lady with the flowers!" Rachel started.  
  
"No, that is her grandmother, Tilley. And to her the bushes not flowers are her husbands."  
  
"Oh, I see, her husbands souls are now residing in the bushes!" Phoebe exclaimed. I think they both would get along dood together. I made a mental note to introduce them.  
  
"Oh yeah."  
  
"Who is driving the car?"   
  
"Trudy. She is the oldest sister. Of the family."  
  
"Is Teddy really the grandfather?"  
  
"No, Lisa pretends that she is his oldest daughter, Alice, sometimes, then pretends that she is his granddaughter other times. In reality he is her uncle." Jack explained.  
  
"There really are a bunch of coots living nearby, right?" Dad asked.  
  
"They are not so bad when you get used to them. Just call Teddy, President Roosevelt and salute him. You know, play along. Stay away from the front of the car when Trudy is 'driving and do not on any circumstances dig or help to dig up the bushes. Tilley packs a mean and I MEAN wallop with a shovel." I explained.  
  
"Lisa and Bradley are both harmless." Monica explained. "So it is pretty safe around here."  
  
"Just don't dig up or bother the bushes." I mumbled.  
  
"Lisa wanted to move them to another part of the yard." Monica told mom and dad, who did not know the whole story.  
  
"Can you believe that it knocked Chandler out?" Ross laughed.  
  
"Hey, I was out for two hours and had a concussion for two days after." I defended. "But, if you think that YOU can do better, the shovel is in the garage."  
  
"Oh, look at the time! I have a faculty meeting in an hour. Congratulations. FOUR kids, I mean THREE daughters and a boy. Now you have seven kids. FIVE of which are GIRLS!!!! Think of all the boys that will be hanging around!!!!!" I slumped down muttering where no one could understand me.  
  
"Thanks a lot Ross!" Monica grumbled.  
  
It took a while, but I soon got my bearings once again. And soon after I finally was able to think of my kids again without quaking so much. Which really amazed me. As well as the others that were around me.  
  
But now on to the video/will reading.  
  
My third cousin had past away. The attorney had contacted me and about twenty others, to attend the last will and testament. Among those were her five kids, two daughters and three sons. The third son was from her second marriage.   
  
One of the daughters was adopted and the only good one of the bunch. All she did was charity work for under privileged kids and volunteered at orphanages, ran a teenage house on the streets, she was also a Psychologist or counselor for them.   
  
Her first husband that she divorced. Her second husband and his five kids from his first two previous marriages. Her two nephews, a sister, and the rest were her cousins. I did not get along with them what so ever. Although, everyone said my fifth cousin and I were a lot alike. Both were very cynical and sarcastic.  
  
Her name was Carle A. De Catheter. She happened to be 3 years younger than me, which was 34. Five four. Chestnut hair and brown, almost golden eyes.   
  
Going into the lawyers office, we bumped into each other. Neither one of us were TOOO thrilled to see the other.  
  
"BING!" She gritted her teeth into a forced smile as her Texas accent made my last name somehow seem worse than it actually was.  
  
"CATHETER!" I gritted my teeth as well.  
  
"Chandler, who is this?" Monica asked.  
  
"Monica, this is my fifth cousin, Carle De CATEHTER." I almost shouted out her last name.  
  
"Oh, you ACTUALLY married him? Willingly? You have my pity." Her Texas accent was crisp and sassy.   
  
Before I could say anything, a young lawyer got everyone's attention. We all sat down and started to watch the tape. "What is said on this tape goes." We should have known that this would be trouble. He then put the tape into the VCR. My third cousin came on.   
  
'My fellow mooches, leeches and other parasites, lend me your ears." Everybody froze. "I thought that would get your attentions. Not on to the rat killings. To my first husband, I leave this thought that what is about to happen, you trained me well on. All the business are to be owned by the employees and no one of this family is going to run them. After all I have seen you run your lives into the ground. And I will not let you do that to those business. Those people need their jobs and I will not have anyone out of work. But don't worry I will leave something to you."  
  
"My first son, since you LOVE my cars, I will leave one to you. The one that is up on blocks in the yard. Hope you enjoy it, it is a classic, after all." That left her son with his mouth hanging open and a dumb expression left on his face. Carle started chuckling.  
  
"My second son, you are being left with a plane ticket and a bed to stay at the gambler's rehab in Las Vegas Nevada. And if you complete and actually do not gamble anymore, I will leave you the sum of $1000 to be paid to you five years after you leave, if you fail, one poker chip. And the money will go to the rehabilitation place as a contribution."   
  
Carle and I looked at each other, "He'll fail." We both busted out laughing.  
  
"My daughter, I TOLD you NOT TO marry that snake salesman! I will leave you a book of Romeo and Juliet. Since you married that jerk. Love until the end of time? I don't think so. I mean how many times has cheated on you? You run home tome and then he somehow talks you back. Well, not anymore. Because you are being left with NO money. Nothing." Her husband got up and left and she ran after him.  
  
"My second daughter. You said you wanted nothing. Well I am going to follow your wishes. You will get nothing alright, except the house, but it must be turned into an orphanage." She started crying. "Don't cry, you were a very good girl and I respect you above all others. The only thing I ask you to do is to take in your youngest brother and look after him. You will do a good job with him. After he gets out on his own, it can be college or starting his own business, he will get $2500. That is a lot more than I got when I started out."  
  
"Chandler Bing. After all you have been through, you never once asked for money from your parents or anything. You will get $100,000. That should help you and your family. Carle De Catheter, you will get $5000. And the rest of the money is going to different charities and so forth."  
  
"To my last husband and his clan, nothing. I Know what you were after and the answer is no. No money or anything else."  
  
Everyone started talking at once. The majority of them were angry, very angry. "Oh yeah, One more thing Chandler and Carle. My two favorite third cousins. You were both deprived of a lootings in life. A normal childhood for one and another siblings. And no Carle those thugs are NOT your siblings. Your mother married that jerk of a man after his first wife died. But that man is not you father. Your father is Charles Bing."  
  
"EHHHHH?"  
  
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAA…..?  
  
"That is right, you are brother and sister. You both don't like each other. I mean you are both alike, your sense of humor, your restlessness, your anxieties, everything. I have talked to the both of you and I know that you and apart from each other you act the same as each other together, you act differently. You both know you are subconsciously. If you need proof, take a look at the birth certificate. And if you need more proof, take a DNA test."   
  
The lawyer took the certificate to me. I looked down at it and my mind went blank. This can not BE happening. Carle jumped up and screamed when she saw the paper and went directly into 'Chandler' mode. OH NO, NO, NO! THAT is ONLY MY MODE! NO one else's! And I DO NOT have a sister! And It is not Carle!  
  
"NO!!!!!!!! I CAN NOT BE A BING! NO WAY!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"I knew your mother was a slut when I married her, and I knew you weren't mine, you little bastard." Her so called father screamed at her. Carle sat there shaking.  
  
"Don't YOU dare call my sister-in-law that!" Monica somehow jumped in front of Carle as if to protect her from that man's words.  
  
"Let me guess, your husband knocked you up, that is why you both married him. Probably slipped you a roofer. You are way too pretty for him."  
  
The next thing I knew all Hell broke loose, I attacked him, Carle attacked as well. It was five minutes later that I was sitting down with a rag over my lip to try and stop the blood.. Carle sat by me.  
  
"Well, sis, thanks."  
  
"No problem, bro." Carle took off the ice pack over her eye. She was sporting a huge bruise that already said that it would be black in a few hours.  
  
Monica walked in. "Hey, Chandler, Carle, I was thinking."  
  
"You were? Will wonders ever cease." Carle looked at Monica. "Oh, sorry, bad habit."  
  
"She does have your sense of humor alright. Hey what are you going to do?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"What is going on Monica?" I asked my wife.  
  
"Well. I think the both of you should get to know the other better."  
  
"Don't you think one fight is enough?" Yup she was my sister. I did not know why I did not see it sooner.  
  
"Come on, for me. Please! I want to get to know my sister in law better. Please!"  
  
"I guess we can call each other." Carle stated.  
  
"NO, Move in with us."  
  
"You're nuts, there is NO way that is going to happen!" Carle screamed out.  
  
But somehow it did. When Monica gets an idea, she will not under any circumstances let it go. SO Carle moved in with us for only a week. Which was increased to two which went to three then a month. Monica would not let her go. And before we knew it we ended up calling a truce of sorts. And we were on ok terms. In short while we became friends . Not brother and sister. But friends, until………..………  
  
Do you want for me to continue? I still have more surprises for everyone. 


	3. How Much Can One Man Take?

This one picks up where the last one left off. I DO NOT Own the show or the concept. I am totally broke.  
  
Here we go…..  
  
How Much Can One Man Handle?  
  
We were friends until, well, I will get to that later….  
  
But right now, I will get to the story of the kids. I did not think that this was so lucky at the time it happened. But looking back, I think that it was the best thing that ever happened to us.  
  
I am talking about the twins and my third child being born ten months after them. In short it was pretty hectic. I mean six bottles for each of them, ten diapers for each and all the different outfits. And that was one day.   
  
Now that got me to thinking. That was three. In short eighteen bottles and over thirty diapers. And now we have FOUR more on the way! Life just keeps getting better and better! With three toddlers walking around the place. This was going to be terrific. Just terrific!  
  
The toddlers were still learning to use the potty, well one had it down pat, one almost did and the other would not learn at all. I think he did know how to, he just did not want to. Now three, I mean four, would have us back in diapers and bottles.  
  
All I can say, is no more fertility drugs. And Monica even agreed with me. I mean baby loving Monica. She agreed! That was a load off of my mind. I mean I would not trade any of my kids whatsoever. But I do not want anymore. Just wait till ya hear the rest of the story.  
  
Luckily, we even had a feeding schedule. Thank you Monica! Thanks to our friends and family, we covered the babies in shifts. Like the night feedings. One at ten pm, one at two am, one at six. Then the day would follow. Luckily we would have enough people staying at the house to help us. Although Joey has become quite adept at sneaking out.  
  
Four babies. Match them up with Monica, me, Jack and Carle and when we can catch him, Joey. But anymore for some reason Joey has started staying around the house, helping us out. So we WILL outnumber them! HA HA HA!  
  
Of course, Monica has somehow talked Carle into staying with us for good. I do NOT know how she did that. She just did.   
  
I mean we were fighting all the time. The insults, the sarcasms, the jokes at the other's expenses. Finally, Monica laid down the law. In short she threatened me and used her hormones as leverage against my sister. My wife defiantly knew how to play me and Carle both.  
  
She threatened me by making me stay on the couch and no sex until I changed. O was at least civil toward Carle. And she used tears and such for Carle.   
  
Now about Carle's background. Her family consisted of a step father and three step brothers. So she was in the dark about females crying. She was actually scared to death of the tear factory that Monica produced. So before long, Carle and I were no longer at each other's throats.   
  
We would soon enough treat each other like brother and sister. But we had no feelings like brother and sister. I thought of Rachel and Phoebe as more along the lines of brother and sister. But that soon changed. We soon enough were no longer friends. We soon became brother and sister.   
  
Why you might ask. Well I will explain why. I got protective of her. I mean she was my sister.  
  
I guess I had better explain how she happened to be my sister. Well, her mom's husband is related by blood to my father or our father. In short they are distant relations or fourth cousins.   
  
Okay. What happened. I was three years old. Mom used me as an excuse not to go to a family reunion. Which would later on have huge impacts on me and Carle. Dad got drunk there and ended up sleeping with Carle's mom. And that is how she came to be.  
  
Oh yeah, one more thing that made us alike. When Carle was seven, her mom ran away with her girlfriend. Or her lover. Now how ironic was that?  
  
When our dad came to see us, Carle and I both glared at him for time and a half. Finally dad admitted he was wrong and had no idea about Carle and so forth. We both ended up forgiving him.  
  
Now my mom is another matter. She was a bit cold towards Carle at first, and Carle was shy around her, totally unlike my sassy sister. But they soon warmed up toward each other and became friends. Not great friends, but acquaintances. What happened was that she found out that Carle was hit around a few times when she was younger.  
  
After Carle's mom left, her father started hitting her and left her with some scars. When we found out, Joey was about to go down to Texas and kick some but. It took Carle talking him out of it. For some reason Joey calmed down. That got me to thinking.  
  
Later on that night, I started to get protective of Carle, not only for hearing about what happened to her. I almost agreed with Joey. But also what I found out.  
  
Anyway, later on that night…  
  
"Joe, can I speak with you for a minute?"  
  
"Baywatch is on."  
  
"Outside, NOW!"  
  
"Ok, fine. At least I am recording it." We went out to the backyard. "Now what is so important?"  
  
I decided to get right to it. "Do you have feelings for Carle?"  
  
"Why, I have never seen you act so big brotherly."  
  
"Joe."  
  
"Come on, dude, you barely get along. I mean, you both fight like cats and dogs."  
  
"Not as much anymore."  
  
"I noticed. Monica really rides roughshod over you and leads Carle around as well."  
  
"Joe, that is not what I am here to talk about. Do you or do you not have feelings for Carle?"  
  
"I just hate to hear of anyone getting hurt. That is all."  
  
"JOEY?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"I have seen the way you look at her, and do NOT think I have not noticed that you have been not going out on the town."  
  
"I just do not fell like it. I mean I want to help you and Monica with the kids."  
  
"Sure you do. And when Carle did go out on a date, or was suppose to, you met the guy out front and told him what you would dot him if he hurt Carle."  
  
"So? You did as well."  
  
"Hey, I am her brother. I consider it my job."  
  
Joey just laughed. "Dude, you realized what you just said!"  
  
"Yes I did. Now what is your excuse?"  
  
"Well, A:RIGHT I DO HAVE FEELINGS FOR CARLE!"  
  
"Joey…" I did not know what else to say.  
  
"I can not help how I feel."  
  
"Fine, but I know your dating record."  
  
"Don't worry, I will not treat her like the others I have dated."  
  
"With your track record, I certainly would hope not."  
  
"So it is ok?"  
  
"Joey, I may be concerned about her, but I know that she is a grown woman, able to make her own choices. SO I really can not say anything. You will have to ask her if you want to date her."  
  
"And the answer is yes." Carle had evidently headwater were talking about. "I just came out hear to tell you that Monica wants to see you, Chandler" I turned to leave. "And thanks brother, dear." She then quickly hugged me and held me tight. "No one has ever cared about me this much."  
  
"No problem sis. Just glad that I do have a sister now."  
  
"And I am glad I have a brother that cares for me." I kissed her forehead and went into the house.  
  
Soon afterwards, Carle and Joey were doing everything together. They both loved basketball, Of course she loved the Bulls and he loved the Knicks. So a battle royal ensued. But they always kissed and made up. But it didn't really bother me. I mean I guess since I did not grow up with her, we both we re indifferent towards each others habits.  
  
She became a travel agent, And loved her job. She was also there for Joey and what he did. When his family met her, they loved her. And she them.  
  
Of course, while everything was going great, something bad just had to happen. Like Monica gave birth when she was eight months along. That was not unusual. The new doctor specialized in multiple births, at least.  
  
What happened really threw me through a loop.  
  
"OK, Mon. PUUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHH!"  
  
ARGGGGGG" Monica was starting to regret the multiple birth. And soon enough she would put the blame on me. I was kind of expecting it.   
  
"YOU! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" Before she could go on. Another contraction hit her. "AAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"PUSH ,EM OUT MONICA, PUSH 'EM OUT, WAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY OUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTT!" Monica, the doctors and the nurses all stopped what they were doing and just stared at me. "What?"  
  
"This is not a cheering section!" The female doctor scolded me.  
  
"You do realize that I am going to kill you after all this is done. Right?" Monica asked me. I gulped.  
  
"Sorry." I mumbled. I just committed the unpardonable sin.  
  
As I said, we received a surprise. The first one out was the boy. The next two were girls. Then surprisingly the next was a SON? At least we were not out numbered. Then I had a shock. Of course, it was a shock, but I was used to shocks, right? Well……  
  
"Alright one more to go!" The doctor announced.  
  
"But we already had four!"  
  
"Yes, well I thought that you knew, you are having five."  
  
"FFFFFFFFFFLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGG!" I had to sit down really quickly. I was kind of prepared for four. But FIVE? What have I got myself into.  
  
"FIVE?" Monica asked. "But I can't I am TOO tired."  
  
"Sure you can, Monica. Just one more."   
  
"But…"  
  
"You do not have a choice, now, PUSH!!!"  
  
Monica pulled me up by hair. "I AM SO GOING TO KILL YOU!!!!"  
  
After a bit more of yelling screaming a cursing, and that was just from me, Monica had yet to let go of my hair. Monica gave birth to a baby boy.  
  
I then stumbled out into the hall or waiting room.  
  
"Well?" Jack asked.  
  
"Two girls and the rest boys." I was too scared to say anymore.  
  
"Wow! You lucked out, Chandler. Two boys and two girls." Ross committed.  
  
"Not two boys, three boys. " I then hit the floor in shock.  
  
The only thing I could make out was Phoebe screaming that she wanted more. My friends and family were around me telling me to breath and asking one another if they should get me a doctor.  
  
I finally got up and walked slowly back to the recovery room. I felt I was going on the long walk to my execution. I kept hearing dead man walking in my mind. All I could think was that if Monica was not going to kill me, then I would have to do it.   
  
Thinking again about it, she would not kill me, she will want me around for the night feedings and diaper changes. Boy, could my life BE any more messed up than what it is now?  
  
Well….anyone want me to go on? I mean what are they going to name them? You will see.  
  
And that is not it for the surprises for the Bing family. How many more surprises can one family have? You might ask. Well….review and depending on how many reviews I get, I will update.   
  
Oh, yeah, you will get to see what a day in the life is like for them. I mean three toddlers and five newborns is not all good. And the teenage years! Eight teenagers living under the same roof. Add to that the food bills, the arguments and so forth. All of it enough to drive the adults nuts. And what else will drive the adults past the brink of insanity? Take a guess. 


End file.
